Keeping the Spark Alive: Tips for Thriving in a Long-Distance Relationship

Long-distance relationships have a bit of a mixed reputation. On one hand, they’re seen as incredibly romantic — two souls defying the odds to maintain a deep connection across the miles. But on the other, they’re often viewed as doomed to fail, with too many obstacles and not enough face-to-face time.

The truth is, that long-distance relationships can absolutely work — but they do require a bit more intention and effort than their geographically close counterparts. Whether you’re new to the long-distance life or you’ve been making it work for years, these tips can help you keep the spark alive and ensure your relationship not just survives, but thrives.

Schedule Regular “Us” Time

When you can’t see each other in person as often as you’d like, it’s crucial to make the most of the time you do have together. Set aside specific dates and times for video calls, phone chats, or even virtual date nights where you can really focus on each other without the distractions of daily life.

Psychologist and relationship expert Joe Hudson recommends treating these scheduled check-ins like sacred rituals. “Make them a priority, free of any other obligations or interruptions,” he says. “This sends the message that your partner and your relationship are a top priority, even when you’re apart.”

Get Creative with Communication

In between those dedicated connection times, it’s important to find creative ways to stay in touch. Sending thoughtful texts, sharing photos or videos, or even writing old-fashioned love letters can go a long way in keeping the intimacy alive.

“The key is to make your partner feel present in your daily life, even when they’re physically absent,” says relationship coach Samantha Burns. “Little gestures like these can help bridge the distance and make them feel truly seen and appreciated.”

Maintain Shared Experiences

One of the trickiest parts of long-distance is the inability to share everyday experiences. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to do so virtually.

“Watch a movie or TV show together, then discuss it afterward,” suggests Burns. “Or sync up your cooking or workout routines and share the process.” Even simple things like taking a walk outside and describing the sights and sounds can help you feel connected.

The Gottman Institute, renowned for their research on relationship health, also recommends co-creating “travel logs” — digital scrapbooks where you can both document your individual adventures and share them with each other. This helps maintain a sense of closeness and intimacy, even when you’re miles apart.

Prioritize Quality Over Quantity

While it’s tempting to try and maximize the time you spend together, relationship experts caution against overcompensating for the distance. “Shorter, more focused visits where you’re fully present with each other are often more beneficial than marathon sessions where you end up feeling depleted,” says Hudson.

The key is to strike a balance — prioritizing quality connection over pure quantity of time. This might mean cutting a visit short to ensure you both have the energy to be fully engaged, or declining an extra trip if it would leave you feeling scattered and stressed.

Maintain Your Independence

As crucial as it is to make your partner a priority, long-distance relationships also require a certain degree of independence. Maintain your own hobbies, social circles, and life outside the relationship. Not only will this help you avoid becoming overly dependent, but it will also give you more interesting things to talk about and share with each other.

“It’s a delicate balance,” says Burns, “but nurturing your individual passions and pursuits can actually strengthen your bond as a couple. Your partner will appreciate you as a whole person, not just an extension of themselves.”

With the right mindset and strategies, long-distance relationships can be incredibly rewarding. By prioritizing quality time, creative communication, and a healthy sense of independence, you can keep the spark alive and come out of the experience even closer than before.