A sexless marriage—typically defined as having sex fewer than 10 times a year—is more common than many realize. While intimacy ebbs and flows in relationships, prolonged periods without physical connection can strain even the strongest partnerships. The good news? With understanding, communication, and the right tools, couples can reignite intimacy and rebuild their bond.

What Is a Sexless Marriage?

A sexless marriage occurs when partners engage in little to no sexual activity, often due to emotional disconnection, stress, or unresolved conflicts. While definitions vary, researchers often classify relationships with fewer than 10 intimate encounters annually as sexless. This lack of physical closeness can stem from:

  • Medical factors: Hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or medications
  • Emotional barriers: Resentment, communication breakdowns, or trauma
  • Lifestyle stressors: Work demands, parenting responsibilities, or financial pressures

Importantly, a sexless marriage isn’t inherently doomed. Many couples rebuild intimacy by addressing root causes and prioritizing connection.

Why Sexless Marriages Happen

1. Communication Breakdown

When partners stop discussing needs or feelings, resentment often replaces desire. Over time, unspoken frustrations create emotional distance. Apps like Vuln Love help couples restart these conversations through guided prompts and daily check-ins.

2. Mismatched Libidos

Differences in sexual desire are common. One partner may prioritize physical intimacy, while the other feels overwhelmed by daily stressors.

3. Unresolved Conflict

Arguments about finances, parenting, or household responsibilities can spill into the bedroom. Emotional safety is a prerequisite for physical intimacy.

4. Medical or Mental Health Challenges

Conditions like depression, anxiety, or chronic illness can drastically reduce libido. The Mayo Clinic notes that 40% of low-sex relationships involve underlying health issues.

The Impact of a Sexless Marriage

While some couples thrive in low-sex partnerships, many experience:

  • Emotional distance: Lack of touch erodes feelings of closeness
  • Lower self-esteem: Partners may internalize the lack of intimacy as personal rejection
  • Increased conflict: Frustration over unmet needs often leads to arguments

A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 68% of couples in sexless marriages reported dissatisfaction, compared to 15% in sexually active relationships.

Rebuilding Intimacy: Practical Steps

1. Start with Honest Conversations

Use tools like Vuln Love’s Daily Connect feature to discuss feelings without blame. Example prompts:

  • “What makes you feel loved but isn’t sexual?”
  • “How can we create more moments of connection?”

2. Address Medical Factors

Consult a healthcare provider to rule out hormonal imbalances or medication side effects. The American Psychological Association emphasizes that medical intervention can resolve 30% of low-desire cases.

3. Schedule Non-Sexual Touch

Relearn physical closeness through cuddling, massages, or holding hands. Touch releases oxytocin, fostering emotional bonds even without sex.

4. Try a Structured Program

Vuln Love’s 12-week relationship challenge ($120) offers:

  • Daily video lessons on rebuilding trust
  • Personalized communication exercises
  • Weekly “connection dates” to rediscover shared joy

When to Seek Professional Help

While apps like Vuln Love provide accessible support, some situations require expert guidance:

  • Persistent resentment or contempt
  • Infidelity or betrayal
  • Trauma impacting intimacy

Organizations like the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy can help locate qualified therapists.

FAQ: Sexless Marriage

What is considered a sexless marriage? Most experts define it as having sex fewer than 10 times per year.

Can a sexless marriage survive? Yes—if both partners commit to rebuilding emotional and physical connection.

How common are sexless relationships? Studies suggest 15-20% of marriages fall into this category.

Is lack of sex a valid reason for divorce? It depends on the couple. Some prioritize emotional intimacy over frequency, while others view it as irreparable.

Can apps really help sexless marriages? Yes. Tools like Vuln Love provide structured support for couples struggling to restart conversations.

Rebuilding intimacy takes time, but with vulnerability and consistent effort, couples can transform a sexless marriage into a relationship that feels deeply connected—both emotionally and physically.